Holidays with Kids: Why Bother?

We’ve just returned from our first family holiday in a long time. Before leaving, I ran a workshop for working parents on finding work-life balance & we talked about the ‘stress factor’ of family trips that can leave us feeling more exhausted than energised.

It’s true, the days where a break was the chance to fully relax, unwind & drink mojitos by the pool from midday are now a distant memory. I used to take pleasure in carefully planning my holiday wardrobe, now I just throw whatever’s clean into a suitcase (with five times more washing to get through on the return)! While the enjoyment of the journey has been replaced with a constant fear of toddler car sickness.

However, with a bit of re-framing & expectation management, I do believe there are still great benefits to be had:

Time to switch off from work & focus on family.

While we may continue to have the daily demands of family life to contend with, taking a proper work break for a few days lets us recharge our professional batteries. On our latest trip, I relished the quality family time during blustery seaside walks & was grateful for limited phone reception. In line with research into the value of thought incubation, stepping away from my laptop often gives me head space for more creative thinking, so there are work benefits to vacations too. If a work idea did pop into my head while I was away, I made a mental note to come back to it on my return. Personally, heading back to the office mid-week also helps me to transition back into work mode more easily.

Time to relax the rules & live in the moment.

Holidays are a great opportunity to take a break from routine & our hard-wired efficiency habits, & embrace some more free, unstructured time together. Research on parental burnout talks about encouraging greater acceptance of ‘good enough’ parenting & reducing the demands we often place on ourselves & our families. Relaxing the rules on vacation is one way we can start to re-calibrate our work-life rhythm. We indulged in a later bedtime to attend a close friend’s wedding & had a lot of guilt-free treats (you can’t go to the seaside & not have ice cream each day!).

(Even just a little bit of) time for you.

Recent psychology research has shown the energy-enhancing benefits of taking micro-breaks throughout the day, which can be as short as 2-minutes to have a positive impact. Finding even small blocks of time for you during a family break can offer an often much-needed energy-boost. I spent just a few minutes consciously listening to waves crashing on the shore while my husband & son played on the beach together & felt that little bit more relaxed as a result. We made time in the evenings after my son had gone to bed to watch (at least half a) film together, & I started a book I’ve wanted to read for ages (I may have to wait until our next holiday to finish it!). To complete our holiday, we also booked an extra day of leave to decompress over an adult-only lunch once our son had returned to nursery. A little grown-up luxury to end the break.

Yes, I do miss those holidays in the sun without a care or commitment in the world. Those vacations full of uninterrupted siestas on sun loungers. But I love our little family escapades & all the chaos they bring too. And I know I’ll be fondly flicking through the many photos from our last trip on my phone once I’m back at my work desk, hoping for another adventure soon.

Jayne Ruff – Chartered Occupational Psychologist & Founder of Parenting Point.

Parenting Point exists to give everyone the self-belief that they can flourish as a parent and a professional by positively aligning both worlds. We help parents find their meaningful and fulfilling work-life balance through practical, psychology-based workshops and coaching. We work with organisations to create positive and inclusive performance cultures that support and encourage the growth of working parents.